mixed up gardening

JY: You're barking up the wrong bush.

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Bonus:

JY: Rhyme to my madness. (Reason to my madness + Rhyme and Reason)

courtesy of SK and TY

Piss like a what?

Someone that I live with said "I need to piss like a camel"!!! I told her that it's racehorse and not camel. Her reasoning is that camels have a big hump and when they need to pee, it's quite voluminous. She looked up the idiom on google and indeed it is racehorse. It said horses are really picky about where the do their business so they hold it and when they need to go, boy do they need to go.

Enlightenment

So wifey told lil' bro to take his new girlfriend to Chado Tearoom for a date when they are in LA this weekend. I asked her if it seems like he wanted to go. Wifey replied, "I don't think it's his cup of tea". Pun and idiom used correctly! 2 for 1 special!

Just last week wifey was saying how something sucks. She says "there's no use crying over spilled porridge". Her reasoning is when porridge gets spilled there's no use crying over it because it gets all crusty. You can't just pick it up and eat it again. You can still recover spilled milk because you can just lap it up like a cat.

We've come a long way!

Not that funny but still a jarbling

I don't remember who but we were talking about someone/something. Jessica concluded that this person/thing "marches to the beat of their own drummer". I told Jessica that it's drum, not drummer. She said "how can a drum make a beat. The drummer is the one that makes the beat". Not that funny, but still a jarbling...

Red alert!!!!

The other day my wife, Jessica, was talking about a friends' "boyfriend situation". In response to a negative attribute about this young man she said, "That should have been a red bell". I replied, "you mean a red flag"? Jessica shouts, "red bell, red flag....whatever"!

no saliva needed

SK and i were addressing an envelope with checks for our friend's birthday gift. we still have the superhero stamps (worth $0.39). so of course, since postage has gone up, i bought a bunch of $0.01 stamps to bring up the postage to the required $0.41. just now, i walk into SK's room, only to here her say, "these stamps don't stick very well" immediately followed by seeing her lick the back of the stamp. i've just watched her lick the paper sticker backing. i start laughing and fall onto the floor, which causes her to come to the realization that she's just licked the paper backing to self-adhesive stamps. so awesome.

bouncing transport

jc is chatting with her friend and husband online and asking about their trip in china:

jc: "did you guys ride around on those ricochets?"
her friend's husband: "AHAHAHAHAHA!"
jc: "what's so funny?"
HFH: "you are! it's not called a ricochet!"
jc: "then what is it called?"
HFH: "i'm not telling you. wait till i tell jane about this!"

so then jc asks me what those things are called, where you ride around in a cart and a person is pulling you... i tell her it's called a "rickshaw" and she asks me how it's spelled. then she says, "so then what's a ricochet?" "it's when things bounce off stuff."

art surfaces...

JC e-mailed earlier to tell me that there was a problem with her bridesmaid dresses and how she had to look for new ones and here's the excerpt:

"The reason why this email is entitled "boooo" is cuz I finally heard back from the bridesmaid dress shop in downtown and they lady told me that due to a manufacturing problem they are not able to get the dresses I ordered in the sizes I need by my wedding date. Argh, I guess it's back to the sketching board for me."

that part in bold italics is the latest jarbling.